Let me be real for a second: I get the “ick” when it comes to promoting myself. Social media? Email campaigns? It’s the kind of thing that makes me cringe sometimes. And if you’re anything like me—an authentic business owner who values real connection over superficial engagement—you probably feel this, too.
You know what I mean, right? That uneasy feeling when you’re about to hit “post” or “send” on something that feels a little too salesy, a little too… not you. Yeah, same here. I’ve been doing this work for a long time, and while I love the impact I get to make, I still struggle with the whole “putting myself out there” thing.
Here’s why I think so many of us feel this way:
1. It Feels… Inauthentic I think the biggest reason for the “ick” is that it can feel like I’m not being real. I didn’t get into this line of work to be a marketer, you know? I did it because I wanted to help people, to make a difference. But somehow, when I’m crafting that perfect post or writing an email campaign, it feels like I’m doing the exact thing to others that I cannot stand to be on the receiving end of. SPAM!.
But I’ve come to realize that self-promotion doesn’t have to feel this way. It’s all about making sure my messaging reflects the real me—not some polished, unattainable version. The trick I’m still learning? Show up as the real, messy, quirky me. People want to connect with me, not some generic brand. So, if my social media or emails feel too forced, I take a step back and ask: “Is this actually me? Or is this who I think people want me to be?”
2. I Worry I’m Being Self-Centered I can’t tell you how many times I’ve held back from posting something because I didn’t want to seem like I’m bragging. For so many of us, talking about ourselves or our successes can feel uncomfortable. We’ve been taught that being humble is good, so putting ourselves out there can make us feel selfish.
But here’s the reframe I’ve been working on: If I don’t share what I’m doing, the people who need my help won’t find me. It’s not about me—it’s about them. There are people out there searching for what I offer, and they can’t find it if I’m hiding behind my discomfort. So, I’ve started thinking of it less as promoting myself and more as serving those who need what I have to offer.
3. I Don’t Want to Add to the Noise I’m sure you’ve noticed it too—social media can be loud. It feels like everyone is constantly posting, emailing, and shouting for attention. And the last thing I want is to add to that noise. I don’t want to be “just another” voice in the sea of self-promotion.
But I’ve had to remind myself: It doesn’t have to be noise if what I’m sharing is meaningful. I try to think of my posts and emails as invitations, not announcements. Invitations to connect, to explore something valuable. Not everyone will accept, and that’s okay. But those who do? They’re the people who matter.
4. The Fear of Crickets And, let’s be honest—part of the ick comes from fear. I don’t know about you, but I’m not immune to that little voice that whispers, “What if no one cares?” The fear of putting myself out there and hearing nothing in return is real.
But I’ve learned that it’s all part of the process. Some posts will land, some won’t. Some emails will get replies, and others will get ignored. It’s not personal—it’s just data. And I try to remind myself that the only way to get closer to the people who need me is to keep showing up, even when it feels uncomfortable.
So, How Am I Getting Over the “Ick”?
Honestly, I’m still working on it. But here’s what’s helped me so far:
- Being Myself: I don’t try to be perfect anymore. I don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. People connect with the real me, not some curated version of me.
- Focusing on Service: I remind myself daily that this isn’t about me—it’s about the people who need what I offer. I try to show up with them in mind, not just to promote myself.
- Setting Boundaries: I don’t feel like I have to do everything. I choose platforms and approaches that feel right for me, and I’m okay with saying no to things that don’t align with my values.
- Taking Baby Steps: I don’t have to go all-in at once. I give myself permission to experiment, to try new things, and to adjust as I go.
If any of this resonates with you, I hope you’ll take a little comfort in knowing you’re not alone. That ick? It’s normal. And it doesn’t have to stop us from showing up authentically, sharing our gifts, and making the impact we’re here to make.
Thanks for reading. Let me know if this is something you’ve struggled with, too—I’d love to hear how you’re navigating it.
#AuthenticIntelligence #RealTalk #EntrepreneurLife #SelfPromotion #BusinessGrowth
About the Author:
Kathleen O’Grady is the CEO of Authentic Leadership Advisors and the creator of the Authentic Intelligence™ Framework. With nearly 20 years of coaching experience, Kathleen specializes in helping executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders make bold transitions, particularly from corporate burnout to entrepreneurial success. Her work focuses on empowering individuals to break free from traditional paths and build careers and/or businesses that align with their innate passions and strengths. Recognized globally for her transformative coaching methods, Kathleen ranks #1 in USA Today’s Top 10 International Coaches. As a Master Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, she has guided countless clients through their own entrepreneurial breakthroughs.
www.al-advisors.com | (919) 322-8344 | kathleen@al-advisors.com
